my hp is sooo clever...
nt only auto-delete my msg, now even can auto-off den auto-on itself...
my dear hp, pls dun b so clever.... -_-


ok, tis is gg to b a contradicting post...


haha... saw tis in polyclinic de toilet... "how to reduce stress" >


whr shld i start??


itp is as usual... do the usual stuff...

but 1 gd thing happen tis week: i finally tried on venipuncture le...
although cant say it is a success...

actually gotta try venipuncture on abt 5 patients (i tink... dun rmb le)...
but only manage to poke on 3 patients, coz the rest cant find the vein so dun dare to poke...
out of the 3 patients,
- poke 1 n manage to take bld though sort of quite messy...
- poke another 1 n didnt manage to poke the vein so no bld cum out...
- poke another 1... a disaster... manage to fill up 1 tube but when wanna fill another tube, the bld nv flow in, den i juz pull out the needle without pulling the vacuum tube out 1st... in the end bld juz rush out of the wound which i had poked... so scary lah...

venipuncture is more stress than i tot...
coz is needle n bld...
can cause hematoma or even massive hemorrhagia de...
so cannot anyhow do...
my hand was like shaking when i poke the needle into the patient lah...

waa... really pity the patients....
the patients nid to take bld alrdy so pity le, den still kena poke by me (which has no experience is venipuncture)....

but still happy...
finally manage to poke veins instead of juz capillaries le....
but but but.....
my "tcher" mc tis 2 days so cant poke patients... muz wait until she cum back....


haha... now tink of it, i didnt regret gg to polyclinic to work...
although compared to those working in lab n hospital, i may nt learn as much lab stuff... but the great thing is those working in lab n hospital didnt do venipuncture... haha

n oso the ppl there r quite nice...
coz in work, the last thing u wan is to meet mean ppl...

n 1 more thing, the lab-ic say if next time holiday, if i wan, can cum back work... coz they nid more ppl... haha...




i prefer A than B... juz like i prefer needle than urine dipstick; i prefer bld than urine (weird comparison i noe...)
i really really hate B... tt's y im gg to aim for lots n lots of A for next sems... no matter wat...
i noe tt i expect too much, too ambitious, tink too highly of myself...
but i wan lots of A...
tis sems results nt as gd as i expected den aim for next sems lor...
coz no pt feeling upset or anything... haha...

oh ya... i shld stop tinking tt our results will be moderated...
either they didnt moderate the results, or the results alrdy moderated (tt mean tt my results may be worse than the results i see now)

moral of the story: dun believe in moderating or tt the tcher will be lenient... the only thing tt i can believe in is my luck n myself... therefore あたしは頑張れます... ^-^




here cum the contradicting part >>>>>

despite being full of motivation n wanting to bcum really strong, a part of me is still weak n keep tinking of giving up...

although learned quite sum stuff in itp n the ppl there r nice, but everyday when my alarm clock rings, i dun wish to wake up... coz i dunwanna go to work....
the ppl there r nice, but i feel like an outcast, nt able to fit in...
but is weird, isnt tt wat i shld be 习惯 abt??
im a born-to-be-outcast...
i wont tok to ppl unless ppl tok to me...
i wont try to go into others' conversation unless ppl include me in...
tt is how outcast im...
so mostly i juz remain silent...
den the ppl there will b: "how cum px always so quiet?"


n tis itp seems to really eat up my holiday....
isnt holiday supposed to be a time when u can be free, when u can enjoy urself n do wat u wanna do??? n even go overseas to see other part of the world...
but y tis holiday seems more tiring than sch time??
y tis holiday so nt free??
y sat still nid go work???
so stupid...
wanna go ubin... so 难得 spenv gt organise camp itself... sum more is at ubin... i wanna go... but.... next time bah....
stupid sp... y gt tis stupid rule tt 1 day absence frm itp without mc equal 3 days absence...
n sum more i only gt 5 weeks itp, which means 3 days absence equal attendance left 90%...
n less than 90% attendance equal itp fail...
which equal i cannot take leave tmr...
which equal i cant even go ubin in the morning tmr...

haizz... ubin is a nice place... wif 蓝蓝的天，白白的云，一望无际的大海，n nice nice de breeze blowing at u... but too bad... cant go...


i really really tired...
can i juz pon itp??
can i rest n enjoy my holiday which dun look like a holiday at all???

i noe im contradicting myself... half of me is motivated, but another half of me juz wanna dun care abt everything... seriously, i dunno wat am i tinking...

hate ppl hu keep on grumbling, complaining n giving up of things so easily....
but isnt me doing those thing... grumbling, complaining n wanna gif up...



fine... tis is a contradicting post...

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